How many times have you read or been told that a lot has changed over the last two years? And what of ourselves? Have we changed? I think we have. I think we have become aware of our own fragility, certainly as a result of the illness these last couple of years, and more so of the social changes that have became so brittle and vulnerable due to the distance between us all. How many difficult conversations did we have, fuelled by fear, anger sometimes, confusion and disbelief too? All of the anchors we took for granted dissolved. What we thought we knew for certain, was anything but. Heck, I even have a hard time recalling what day it was!
And yet, there’s nothing new in not knowing. Perhaps what is new is our refusal to accept this. Our refusal to be wrong, to be contrite in our errors, to seek to fix our rigid perceptions of the world and each other. Wisdom comes with age, surely. And perhaps we’ve aged a lot more rapidly since 2019. Hopefully a new perspective to reflect and learn, to begin again, to see the world and what we hold dear in a completely new light. What do we truly value? Who are we now- individuals or communities? How can we cope better with uncertainty? At Discerning Seniors we know how valued our services are. We provide guidance and reassurance during a time of the uncomfortable chapters of life, helping our clients through challenges, providing a way where none was seen before. It’s okay not to know. In fact, how could you know how difficult it is to deal with aging parents and family members, with siblings who are afraid but appear angry? It’s okay to ask for help and guidance. In fact, there’s great comfort in asking for it. It allows us to be vulnerable and open, rather than rigid and all knowing. The latter can get us into all kinds of trouble. Have you noticed the more you try to control the unknowable, the greater the inner conflict?
There’s a great expression in Eastern meditation, one I’ve been lucky to learn over these last couple of years for the first time, and one I’ve been trying to fully embody. When I do succeed, I feel more at ease, lighter even. It’s the expression to approach life with a strong back and open heart. What it means is to be open to receive with an open heart, while being steadied for life’s storms by a strong back. Letting go of the need to control has been a big change for me- a kind of a renaissance. My circle of control is smaller, and I’m comforted by that. We don’t have to solve all the world’s problems all at once. That letting go of the need to control, to become open to learning, allows us to grow, to bend in difficulty and to turn towards the sunshine in easier times.
So as we embrace Spring, as our gardens start to grow again, the grey days reopen and flourish, whoever we were before, we are not the same now. That cellular change could be met with fear, and yet, why not choose joyfulness? For who among us wouldn’t love a second chance (third or fourth) to become new all over again?
