Any chance you felt a little nagging in the pit of your stomach and it feels like now is the right time for your family to make a few changes?
We get crisis calls all year long but the calls we get about a longer-term plan for elderly loved ones peak after the Christmas break and also after the summer. Typically, when we have the opportunity to spend down time with our families (meals, holiday movie time, outings, family and friend visits) rather than functional time (doctors’ appointments, grocery shopping, supply drop offs), we have the right amount of time to “see” loved ones, truly see them and appreciate them – their many attributes and well, frankly, their deficiencies.
So, what did you see? Was your gut telling you that something has changed? Are you picturing something a little different for next year? Did you find yourself noticing little behaviours that are unusual? Behaviours that you might have noticed over the past few months but now you accept that they really do exist.
If you did see that your elderly loved ones seemed different, slower, unsure, shakier, more confused, unstable or just…strange…it’s okay. Changes happen, they are normal, but they should not be ignored. As we said in our previous blog, it’s important to address needs sooner. The longer you wait the bigger the changes, the harder the adjustment, and so on.
Know in your heart that any steps you take is to help your aging loved ones – and your suggestions to them come from a place of compassion and support – your motivation is good. If your relationship with your folks has been difficult, being there for them at this point in their life is still good. Offering helpful suggestions is not shaming them – even if their immediate reaction might feel that way.
What can you do? Firstly, adopt the mantra: “I want to make things easier for them” That is your guiding principle, that’s all – they deserve it.
Easy first steps to help your parents or elderly loved ones:
- Download the Uber app on their phones and encourage them to take an Uber when the weather is bad
- Set up a grocery delivery account for them so when the weather is challenging they can have items delivered – they can order, or you can order for them
- If there are any concerns with their medications have a conversation with their pharmacist and arrange for delivery and/or blister packs (pharmacists are vastly underused resources in our community)
- If loneliness is a concern (and it should be for everyone) look into different activities and clubs such as bridge, euchre, lawn bowling, art classes etc. Many are offered by municipalities and places of worship or retirement communities
It is so much easier to make little changes now. And as always, if you do not know where to start, ask us – we can help.
