How to discuss necessary lifestyle changes brought on by aging
Having “the talk” isn’t what it used to be. Odds are the more awkward conversation parents and adult children will have will centre on aging and care options.
Ignoring the changes that come with aging makes as much sense as ignoring that new mole on your cheek. There is also a disillusionment that there are ample “healthcare” resources to help us when we need it. Sadly, that is not true for anyone.
Understanding the difference between “Healthcare” and “Self-Care”
Aging is complicated – there is a general decline in body and mind, and additionally there are illnesses that accompany aging. Government healthcare resources are targeted toward age related illnesses – heart disease, broken hips. Having dementia and requiring assistance with daily care does not fall under “healthcare”. This is where “Self-Care” is important. It is up to us and our families to help determine the plan if and when there is a significant decrease in our ability to manage our lives by ourselves.
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Let’s take this on and take care of ourselves and loved ones. Let’s talk about it and plan for it. Let’s stop pretending we don’t know it is coming.
Here are a few questions to help you begin:
- Is getting in and out of the bath or shower more challenging than it used to be?
- Are you still able to manage the stairs in the house (or to the house)?
- Do you feel comfortable driving at night?
- If you were ever to fall in your house, have you thought about how someone could help you?
- How do you spend your time during the day?
- How are you managing grocery shopping? And preparing meals?
- Let’s make a list of who has a key to the house and who could arrive first to help you.
Not knowing how to handle everyday challenges brings uncertainty into everyone’s life.
Have you determined who will make decisions in a crisis?
Having a plan in place and a bit of knowledge of what resources are available will bring peace of mind to everyone.
Not talking about it will only make things worse. Living in fear of the unknown – and “some day” is no way to live.
If you are a senior living in your own home
We want to share a secret with you – your kids, nieces, nephews and grandchildren are already thinking about this and they are worried. They don’t want to offend you but they are worried about that day you fall, or if you are driving at night, and if you are eating properly. Let them know you have thought about this. Understand your options before something happens. Right now all options are available to you – but once you fall, or end up in the hospital, choices get narrowed. Remember, when you have the right support in place, you extend and grow your freedom.
