It’s called intuition, and in the context of finding the right retirement home, it is probably the most important factor.
Many retirement homes, at least the ones we recommend, are similar in their base offerings:
- A selection of suite sizes from studios to 2 beds+ den
- Housekeeping/ laundry
- A dining room where one can have some or all meals
- An enormous variety of activities, outings, committees, entertainment, religious services, etc.
- On-site personal care (with more care and more complex care being added all the time)
- A visiting Physician or Nurse Practitioner who will take on new residents if that is preferred
- A certain level of peace of mind
- Communal living/socialization
Some are newer, shiny, fancy places, some are focused on a particular type of care, some are more lived in, with a cozier atmosphere.
All the residences we recommend are well managed, offer great personal care and are, as much as is possible (nothing is perfect), staffed with individuals who work very hard to make life better for residents and their families.
They are expensive – but, in our opinion, they offer a really wonderful option for folks who need support and might be a little tired of juggling the realities of managing a house/condo/apartment while staying connected and eating right.
So how do we find the best fit?
The secret sauce is to trust your gut.
When looking for a retirement residence for someone else, you must fully consider how the prospective resident lives, what food they prefer, how they dress, what they like to do, where they want to live, what their current home looks like, and all the feels that go with that.
Take all that into consideration, while ensuring, as much as possible, for as long as possible; that the residence can support the individual’s needs, as those needs evolve.
All those considerations being equal, the question then becomes:
How does this place feel?
With 2 parts to that question:
- Can this place feel like home?
Sometimes, adult children, look at a residence through their own lens. While well intentioned, that can be misguided. Adult children might have a preference for a sleek, modern, minimalist, boutique hotel feel but the potential resident might prefer an over-stuffed, chintz, tweedy, dare I say slightly worn in, feel.
The potential resident’s preference is the preference that matters!
- Who else is living there?
How do the people living there compare with prospective residents. Is there someone in the residence’s current cohort who seems like a potential friend. Yes!!! A potential friend!!! It sounds very “middle school” – but then again – life is very “middle school” . That’s why middle school is so defining. All it takes is one connection, to make a residence feel like home.
All this sounds simple enough, but, like with most things related to aging, elder care, accepting help and transitions. It is emotional, political, expensive, stressful and it feels overwhelming.
We get it, and we can help simplify the process, we can share our learning on the subject, we can point you in the right direction, we can listen, we can support you in your decision. Ultimately it is your decision, trust your gut.
